Thursday, March 24, 2011

A trip down memory lane

I have been called fat my whole life. It's something that happened somewhat often growing up. I can think of a few times that really stung and stuck with me, though. I thought I would share a few memories that helped catalyst me into changing my life.

1) When I was at my heaviest weight I was at a family BBQ. My aunt and uncle had recently adopted a young boy, and we were just getting to know him and welcome him to the family. In good ol' BBQ style, I loaded up my plate with food and went to find a seat on the deck. As I started to squeeze myself into a patio chair, he yelled (in front of about 30 people):

"WOAH! Are you going to FIT in that chair!!??"

It went SILENT and everyone stared at me (or looked away, out of awkwardness). It was AWFUL. I've never been more humiliated in my LIFE!! I ended up excusing myself and going and crying in my grandmother's bedroom. UGH.

2) I was about 20 years old and I had gotten all dressed up to go out to the bar with my friends. Yes, I was very heavy, but I thought I looked good, I felt good, and I was ready for a night out.
I was on a full bus headed downtown when this old man started talking to across the aisle at me.

He shouted "Hey, are you headed to The Carlton?"
I looked around, and yes, he was talking to me. "Uh, No... I'm going to Evolution."
Then, shouting over all the other passengers, he says "Oh! I would've thought you were going to The Carlton! All the fat chicks hang out at The Carlton!"

I was so F-ING embarrassed. What a jerk. What is wrong with people?? UGH.

3) One day my friends and I decided to skip work and go to Playland in Vancouver. It was a spontaneous and fun adventure! We each called in sick to work while driving down the highway and heading for the Ferry. When we got to Vancouver, we all purchased day passes and headed for the rides.

The first ride I went on, the seatbelt wouldn't fit, so I had to get off. The second ride I tried, the air-locking overhead harness couldn't close over my body. I was too big. I had to get off. I walked up to a few more rides and saw weight restrictions on their signs.

I felt embarrassed and sad. My friends all paid for very expensive day passes and we had traveled far to get there. So I assured them I was OKAY and to PLEASE continue having fun!! I would meet them later.

I went to the customer service counter at the park and cried... I was so embarrassed to have to ask for a refund on my ticket because I was too fat to go on any of the rides. They did give me my money back, and I spent the rest of the day wandering around the non-ride side of the park waiting for my friends to finish their fun.

UGH.

4 comments:

  1. This breaks my heart. You deserve to feel wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  2. isn't it funny how these memories stick with us. I have a few doozies myself, that happened when I was really young, and changed the next 30 years of my life.
    What I do see in your post is just how much courage you had. I never would have gone to the park with my friends for fear that I couldn't fit on the ride, and I never would have gone to ask for a refund. See you were strong even back then. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hugs PJ. I agree with Sharon, that you had the courage to try anyways.

    More importantly you had the courage to change you life.

    p.s. the orange & banana pics below are hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You look great!

    ReplyDelete